It's that time of year again...

It's that time of year again.. CHRISTMAS!!!!
Tess and I were busy bee's in the kitchen this week making maple gingerbread cookies and discussing important matters regarding the studio... and by serious matters I mean gossip haha! I actually thought it would take us all night but we had the dough made, rolled, baked, and cookies decorated in about 2hrs. I think I'll have to invite Tess over again this week for another cookie making/ gossip fest since Scott and I have consumed an entire container of gingerbread in 4 days.

Every year my cousin, Jen, sends out a family newsletter including the schedule for Christmas Eve and a naughty and nice list which describes in detail whether each family member is naughty or nice and why. The whole family waits patiently in anticipation each year for the newsletter to come out. Rumor has it that Mini Oma, ie. Katie, is taking on the responsibility of the newsletter. Should be interesting... those are some big shoes to fill Katie! I've never been on the 'Nice list', EVER! so my fingers are crossed that this year, with the passing of the torch, that my luck might change and I may land myself on the Nice list.

Scott and I bought our first Christmas tree together today. This is my first Christmas out of my parents house, and Scott's first REAL Christmas tree. We're both super excited. The house smells amazing!

A little standing bow while decorating the tree...

Half moon. Can you tell I'm a yoga teacher?.. and a shameless plug haha

Finally Scott got annoyed of all the yoga pics and made me take a 'normal' picture in front of the tree.

Linda taught her first class today @ 10am. I meant to take the class but I slept in. I pretty much only wanted to take the class to see how I measure up. Not really for the supportive aspect of it haha. I talked to David, our studio owner, later on in the day and he said that her dialogue was incredible...*yawn.. and that she was super confident...*yawn. I was waiting for the punch line when he told me that my class was way better and that I'm a better teacher, but it didn't happen. Obviously. I'm so paro. (paranoid) that Linda's class is going to be better then mine or that more people will want to take her class over mine. It's consuming me. I realize how rude and crazy I sound... and I STILL don't care!

I teach in Toronto this weekend @ the Forest Hill studio which I'm super excited and nervous about. I'm going to be studying my dialogue all week in anticipation of this class. I taught my third class in Hamilton this weekend. My classes are still 100 minutes long and it still feels really uncomfortable and unnatural to be up on the podium. Luckily I didn't have to wear a headset this time. I know that headset is supposed to be fun, but really its just more overwhelming.

Niki got home today. I'm so excited! I need to get to bed so I can be ready to take beginners and advanced class with her tomorrow :)

XoXo

Anxiety sets in -Part 2

I think this was the title of one of my first posts right before I left for training. I haven't checked but as I began writing this post and felt oddly familiar. It's kind of interesting how I experienced anxiety before I left for training and posted about it a week-ish before I left and then, now, a week and a half after I left training I'm experiencing the same feelings of anxious, nervous, stressful energy. My head knows that this is a completely normal feeling to have, but the rest of my body isn't quite sold on it... hence the 6am posting. I've been up since 5am creeping Facebook, checking my bank account balance (then crying), making tea & toast, and reading other yogi blogs.

I remember thinking to myself last week, I could never have imagined being in so much debt- but I've never felt more happy. This week.. not so much. This week is all bills and Christmas gifts and filling up my car when gas is at an insane 105.8/g. This week I'm finding it more difficult to be accepting of my financial situation. Adding to the stress (guilty conscious) even more is that my boyfriend/ roommate/ love of life, Scott, pays for every single bill without asking anything in return. It costs my virtually nothing to live in my 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath town house. I generally believe that there are no problems, only solutions. However, my financials are seriously a problem with no foreseeable solution other than simply time because I work minimum 6 days a week, 8-14 hours a day. I want nothing more then to be a full-time Bikram Yoga teacher but how do full-time teachers make a living and pay their bills?
This is not a rhetorical question. Seriously, I want to know.

Teacher Training ended exactly 12 days ago. In that time I've taken 4 classes. All last week I couldn't figure out why I was so tired. When I was up I felt amazing, but I was losing steam so quickly; feeling like I was ready for bed @ 8pm every night. It's not that I don't want to take class or that I'm sick of it... It's just that I can think of so many other things to do with that 2hrs of my day instead of spending it in a sweaty hot room. Then, on Sunday, after Scott woke me up @7pm from my 2hr 'power nap' and convinced me to get my a$$ to class I was reminded of why I love this yoga. It energizes me, calms my mind, puts things into perspective, relights the flame within, gives me courage, and makes me feel empowered. So... I need to get back to the hot room. If nothing else, to at least preoccupy and busy myself with activities that are both, fulfilling, satisfying, and FREE.

My best friend and cousin, Rebecca, left for Tanzania on Sunday; never to be seen again until next August. I really missed her this week after the Forest Hill studio owner in Toronto, Janice, put me on her schedule. This is a studio that we rave about in Waterloo all the time. It's always a huge treat to practice there and visits are usually made into a whole weekend event. This is also the studio that Rebecca's sister, Lindsay, practices at. Janice has mentored tons of Bikram teachers and many of my favorite teachers have circulated out of her studio. I'm excited and nervous to teach there next Saturday and eager to hear her feedback and suggestions. I think this could also be contributing to my narcolepsy as I've only dreamed of teaching at this studio, on the same level as teachers like Barb, David Mook, Andrea Blakey, Paul McQuillan, Alex Evans, and Teshia Maher. That's a pretty serious line-up of teachers Janice has. Star studded.

I thought sleepless nights caused by stressing over dialogue retention we're over when I left teacher training... not so. I've never felt more exhausted and awake at the same time.