So I delivered an awesome wind removing and cobra this week.... and then there was locust.
What a nightmare.
This was the worst posture delivery I've had yet. We had two posture clinics in one day today so I delivered Cobra in the afternoon and Locust tonight. A lot of people have been saying that by not studying the dialogue as hard they are able to focus more on the bodies... makes sense. So, since I haven't been seeing the bodies and had a fairly good knowledge of the dialogue (no where near where it usually is), I decided that I would test this new method. I should have stuck with my gut instinct. I'm a dialogue girl.
I got up there and completely blanked. Then, because I didn't have the security of the dialogue I was extra nervous. Not exactly ingredients for success. Going up to deliver the posture and just "winging it" ended up with me blurting out random phrases that I could recall, lots of pauses and Ummm's and nervous giggles, and finally ...."get your legs more up Sheron, stop bull shitting" and then, quickly, "change". I immediately regretted testing the waters with this posture. I can't believe I said that. My feedback was that I need to use more variation of high and low in my voice, more enthusiasm, and more energy. They also said that it seemed like I was depressed and perhaps suicidal. I said that it sounded pretty accurate and I couldn't wait to sit back down. The real kicker, and even more annoying part, is that my room mate got up and presented her dialogue right after me, knowing even less then I did and her delivery was 100 times better. I was so pissed. I think the fact that we both did the same thing and she did better is the part that I really can't let go. It just makes me so angry. I'm fuming right now. I should be happy for her because she has so little going for her, but I just can’t. I just feel so drained by her all the time. As soon as I step into the room when she’s there its like my energy get sucked away. She’s a shadow that dulls everything. So negative. I know its not her fault I had a shitty dialogue… but I can’t help but think she is a little bit to blame (she’s not at all but it makes me feel better to not take complete responsibility for my shittyness). I think I’ll be extra rude and ignore her completely tomorrow. I know how uncomfortable she is with silence…evil? Don’t care.
Its so hard to show myself during posture clinics. Everyone says that I’m like a different person up there. I don’t know how to get out of my own head yet. I know this is the first step and that tonight was a “breakthrough” for me, but its still hard to see it that way. It mostly just feels like a failure. I can see the big picture… it’ll just take me some time to get over this burn. It kind of feels like I’ve hit rock bottom; and when I told my study partner, Dan, this, he said “rock bottom is solid, so stand on it and let it be your platform”. We love Dan. Dan’s the man. Also, this yoga teacher from Vegas, John Salvatore, had this great quote that Dan also reminded me of that goes “If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got, and you'll always feel what you always felt”- meaning that I need to get out of my comfort zone in order to get out of my own head, be better, and improve my teaching ability.
I can see how this is all going to come together in the end… I’m just not liking how uncomfortable the process is going to feel.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
OOOooohh sNaP!
Everybody has a break-through week. Some at the very beginning, some it takes longer and they loose their shit @ the very end. I think Week 6 is my brak-down/break-through week.
Yesterday will go down in the teacher training record books for: The day Kat lost her mind.
I was selling front row tickets to the snap show. Very reasonable price (Free).
Yesterday morning was the worst class that I've had here. I was so weak and lazy and ANGRY. I can't remember ever feeling so angry. The internal dialouge going through my head was bonkers.
"this is bull shit, this teacher is the worst ever"
"I don't need this, I don't care, I'm leaving training"
"I'm leaving the room, its too hot"
"I really f*ing hate this teacher, she's so f*ing dumb"
"I'm better then this, just get up and leave the room"
Then once I got up and started leaving the room...
"omg, you idiot, why are you leaving"
"everyones staring at you and knows your weak"
"go back, go back, go back and sit down"
"don't be a pussy, your already standing, theres no going back now"
I left the room for 10 min max then this bitch came out and sent me back into the hot room with no remorse. Then pretty much laid on my back for the rest of the class. I was angry all day and then the night class was my breaking point. My stomach was so huge and hard. I couldn't even suck it in a little. It was resting on my leg in Standing Head to Knee, and spewing over my pants in Seperate Leg Head to Knee. Throughout the class I could feel the bulge in my stomach creeping up my body and I kept telling myself to keep doing to postures so that I would hopefully come out. I was either going to cry, or barf. It didn't really matter because either one of those would allow me to leave the room. Score! Finally, by Camel, I was convulsing on the floor in sobs and left once everyone came out of their second set. All I remember from then on is Niki waiting for my at the doors, hugging her while crying, and then being so overwhelmed that I stumbled into the parking lot in fits of tears and screaming bloddy murder. None of which I had any control over. When I finally came-to Niki was sitting beside me, I had a towel around me, and my neck was cramped from screaming so loud. Once I calmed myself down Niki told me we were sitting on the ramp to the dumpster and there was a massive ant pile right beside us.
I felt totally weird for the rest of the night. Swirling and confussion is all I can think of to describe what happened. I spent the break inbetween class and posture clinic with Niki and Meghan cuddling in bed which was really nice and reasuring.
Today was the day of diareah. My colon in falling out of my ass every 25 minutes or less. I dunno if its something that I ate or just my body reacting and releasing. The smell is undescribable. I feel fine but I can't wait for this to pass.
I'm waiting in anticipation for what tomorrow will bring...
Yesterday will go down in the teacher training record books for: The day Kat lost her mind.
I was selling front row tickets to the snap show. Very reasonable price (Free).
Yesterday morning was the worst class that I've had here. I was so weak and lazy and ANGRY. I can't remember ever feeling so angry. The internal dialouge going through my head was bonkers.
"this is bull shit, this teacher is the worst ever"
"I don't need this, I don't care, I'm leaving training"
"I'm leaving the room, its too hot"
"I really f*ing hate this teacher, she's so f*ing dumb"
"I'm better then this, just get up and leave the room"
Then once I got up and started leaving the room...
"omg, you idiot, why are you leaving"
"everyones staring at you and knows your weak"
"go back, go back, go back and sit down"
"don't be a pussy, your already standing, theres no going back now"
I left the room for 10 min max then this bitch came out and sent me back into the hot room with no remorse. Then pretty much laid on my back for the rest of the class. I was angry all day and then the night class was my breaking point. My stomach was so huge and hard. I couldn't even suck it in a little. It was resting on my leg in Standing Head to Knee, and spewing over my pants in Seperate Leg Head to Knee. Throughout the class I could feel the bulge in my stomach creeping up my body and I kept telling myself to keep doing to postures so that I would hopefully come out. I was either going to cry, or barf. It didn't really matter because either one of those would allow me to leave the room. Score! Finally, by Camel, I was convulsing on the floor in sobs and left once everyone came out of their second set. All I remember from then on is Niki waiting for my at the doors, hugging her while crying, and then being so overwhelmed that I stumbled into the parking lot in fits of tears and screaming bloddy murder. None of which I had any control over. When I finally came-to Niki was sitting beside me, I had a towel around me, and my neck was cramped from screaming so loud. Once I calmed myself down Niki told me we were sitting on the ramp to the dumpster and there was a massive ant pile right beside us.
I felt totally weird for the rest of the night. Swirling and confussion is all I can think of to describe what happened. I spent the break inbetween class and posture clinic with Niki and Meghan cuddling in bed which was really nice and reasuring.
Today was the day of diareah. My colon in falling out of my ass every 25 minutes or less. I dunno if its something that I ate or just my body reacting and releasing. The smell is undescribable. I feel fine but I can't wait for this to pass.
I'm waiting in anticipation for what tomorrow will bring...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Day 35: Pain is an inevitable fact of life. To suffer is a choice.
Happy 25th Wedding Anniversary!!
Mom & Dad, I love you both so so soooo much. I feel truely grateful and blessed to have gotten you as parents. Your so loving and suportive of the 3 of us and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you so much for supporting me and accepting my path to come to Bikram Teacher Training. It's so important to me. It has, and is changing my life. I miss you both and can't wait to be home, close to you again. Congratulations on 25 years of marraige. Your 50th is going to be even bigger so if you thought this was big... you better start preparing yourselves now! haha I love you both! XoXo
Yoga practice this morning with no mat = success!!!
VERDICT: yoga mat is a crutch
I had an amazing practice today. It was so freeing to go to the hot room with nothing but a water bottle, practice my yoga, and leave with nothing. absolute brilliance. If my practice can be the same with a mat, and without one... then I don't really need it. I'm not going to lie, I'm definatly going to have brusies ontop of my calusis on the tops of my feet from Fixed Firm Pose, and it did hurt the top of my head to be in Rabbit, but wait- could it just be that I'm just rolling too far forward on my head and creating too much pressure? OOOooohh Yeaaaaah! BINGO. and guess what- I wouldn't have known that if it wasn't for this little expairiment. The lady besire me was not impressed to say the least. When I told her that I didn't loose my mat and about the article I read last night she informed me that the purpose of the mat was to reduce germs and preserve the carpet. She was really annoyed. I think I'll try to practice without a mat beside her again.
Niki taught an amazing class last week which brought me to tears. She ended the class with the Beetles- All You Need Is Love. I was right in front of the podium to make sure I could suck up every word and direction she exspelled. All 400+ yogis sung along with the music at the end which was so moving and heart warming. It wasn't until I gave Niki a hug to congradulate her on her class that I started to cry. She was so happy to see me finally break down (what a bitch) and then made me leave cause I was starting to make her cry. Then once I got myself together and left the room I ran into Meghan... waterworks. The whole rest of the day I felt so disoriented and weird. Last week ended off with Dom, the head of staff, delivering a kicka$$ class which ended with some Micheal Jackson. The entire room was so moved by the MJ tribute that everyone got up and started dancing. 500 sweaty people of all races and religions dancing and singing to Micheal Jackson in speedos and bikini's. AMAZING. Highlight of training so far.
Orsi comes for Advanced in a week and TamRock comes in 3 weeks. So much love. So much support.
I know I keep saying this but- I'm so lucky!!!!!!!
I'm off to mix and mingle with other trainiees for the night. Maybe dinner and a movie?
Enjoy your weekend! I miss you all.
4 MORE WEEKS!!! XoXo
Day 34: At this point you are all acutely aware of how bad you are, but you have no idea how good you are
Sorry its been so long! The Internet here is absolute crap. It pains me to pay $5 a day to pay for it.
Can you believe that its already the end of Week 5!? I don't even remember what happened last week. We're almost done standing series :) we'll finish up with Tree Pose and Toe Stand on Monday and then we're onto the floor. Two more weeks and we'll be done with dialouge. YAY!
The room mate it getting annoying (to say the least). She's a total victim to everything. I like to beleive that there are no problems, only solutions. She beleives the exact opposite. Tonight she told me that she saw the ceiling of the tent for the first time in class today. Whoah! Uh What? (NOTE: the tent has always had a roof, so what the h*ll are you looking at crazy) She's so deep into her own mind. I'm so glad she has this yoga, but its hard to be around someone so self absorbed. Bikram has this great saying "Don't hump the newbies, and don't poke the crazies" haha. Her awareness and ability to see the Big Picture is so minimal. It makes me feel very powerful and lucky for my mental strength and awareness.
Tess sent me this really cool article about yogi's shedding their yoga mats and practicing with nothing but a towel. Here's the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/03/fashion/03noticed.html?_r=1
There are a few staff and visiting teachers that at only practice on one towel and thats it. It's possible here because we practice on carpet. Not so viable on the BYKW floors. We always talk about being aware of crutches in the yoga like water, hand towels to grip or wipe sweat, and objects like bricks and straps to "suppliment" the practice; this article made me really consider the purpose of my mat. Is my mat a crutch?
I'm going to practice without my mat tomorrow. Just one towel for sweat absorbtion and visual territory. I'll let you know how it goes. Because I couldn't post last weekend, I'm going to post again tomorrow. Yay!
Last weekend I did my laundry for the second time since i've been here. I do it every two weeks. My mother is probably shocked by this statement, remembering how I used to do a load of laundry almost everyday during my highschool days with little more then a handful of things I had planed on wearing the next day. Anyways, through this laundry business I decided that i'm not going to wash my yoga gear during training. NEVER. This is either brillient or horrendous-- it's all a matter of perspective in my opinion. I think its brillient, obviously, and feel bad*a$$. Rebecca is smiling with pride as she thinks about all the water i'm saving, I just know it.
I can't think of whatelse to share right now. I'm a little tired on account of all the late nights we've been having now that Bikram is back. 7am wake-up and 4am bedtimes = screw loose brain. Bikram loves to lecture until midnight-ish and then watch 3hr Bollywood films. I mean, it totally sucks but I understand the purpose; when your tired your more open and accepting to new and uncomfortable situations. Thus, expanding your comfort zone. I'll appreciate it later i'm sure, but right now... it sucks!
Still no pictures. My camera is D.E.A.D. I wasn't able to get a single picture with it here. I was considering buying another one but its going to be $130ish for a decent new one and I don't know how my parents are going to feel about lending me more money and then having me turn around and purchase a novelty electronic device. Really though, the pictures are for the benifit of us all... I get to capture this timeless experience and memory of teacher training, while you get a glimps of my life and surroundings here.. Win Win right? Okay, you're going to have to work on them for me okay. Tell them I NEED a camera. If i'm going to make this work we're going to need numbers. The art of conviction is all a numbers game so you gotta help me out.
Time for bed. I'll remember more to share tomorrow + let you know how hot yoga sans yoga mat is.
XoXo Kat.
P.S. Where the F* is Rebecca?! I need to talk to her ASAP.
Can you believe that its already the end of Week 5!? I don't even remember what happened last week. We're almost done standing series :) we'll finish up with Tree Pose and Toe Stand on Monday and then we're onto the floor. Two more weeks and we'll be done with dialouge. YAY!
The room mate it getting annoying (to say the least). She's a total victim to everything. I like to beleive that there are no problems, only solutions. She beleives the exact opposite. Tonight she told me that she saw the ceiling of the tent for the first time in class today. Whoah! Uh What? (NOTE: the tent has always had a roof, so what the h*ll are you looking at crazy) She's so deep into her own mind. I'm so glad she has this yoga, but its hard to be around someone so self absorbed. Bikram has this great saying "Don't hump the newbies, and don't poke the crazies" haha. Her awareness and ability to see the Big Picture is so minimal. It makes me feel very powerful and lucky for my mental strength and awareness.
Tess sent me this really cool article about yogi's shedding their yoga mats and practicing with nothing but a towel. Here's the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/03/fashion/03noticed.html?_r=1
There are a few staff and visiting teachers that at only practice on one towel and thats it. It's possible here because we practice on carpet. Not so viable on the BYKW floors. We always talk about being aware of crutches in the yoga like water, hand towels to grip or wipe sweat, and objects like bricks and straps to "suppliment" the practice; this article made me really consider the purpose of my mat. Is my mat a crutch?
I'm going to practice without my mat tomorrow. Just one towel for sweat absorbtion and visual territory. I'll let you know how it goes. Because I couldn't post last weekend, I'm going to post again tomorrow. Yay!
Last weekend I did my laundry for the second time since i've been here. I do it every two weeks. My mother is probably shocked by this statement, remembering how I used to do a load of laundry almost everyday during my highschool days with little more then a handful of things I had planed on wearing the next day. Anyways, through this laundry business I decided that i'm not going to wash my yoga gear during training. NEVER. This is either brillient or horrendous-- it's all a matter of perspective in my opinion. I think its brillient, obviously, and feel bad*a$$. Rebecca is smiling with pride as she thinks about all the water i'm saving, I just know it.
I can't think of whatelse to share right now. I'm a little tired on account of all the late nights we've been having now that Bikram is back. 7am wake-up and 4am bedtimes = screw loose brain. Bikram loves to lecture until midnight-ish and then watch 3hr Bollywood films. I mean, it totally sucks but I understand the purpose; when your tired your more open and accepting to new and uncomfortable situations. Thus, expanding your comfort zone. I'll appreciate it later i'm sure, but right now... it sucks!
Still no pictures. My camera is D.E.A.D. I wasn't able to get a single picture with it here. I was considering buying another one but its going to be $130ish for a decent new one and I don't know how my parents are going to feel about lending me more money and then having me turn around and purchase a novelty electronic device. Really though, the pictures are for the benifit of us all... I get to capture this timeless experience and memory of teacher training, while you get a glimps of my life and surroundings here.. Win Win right? Okay, you're going to have to work on them for me okay. Tell them I NEED a camera. If i'm going to make this work we're going to need numbers. The art of conviction is all a numbers game so you gotta help me out.
Time for bed. I'll remember more to share tomorrow + let you know how hot yoga sans yoga mat is.
XoXo Kat.
P.S. Where the F* is Rebecca?! I need to talk to her ASAP.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Day 21: Just breathe. Always come back to the breath.
Everything has been sunshine and rainbows up until yesterday. I think this may be the straw that broke the camels back. I was feeling pretty lonely yesterday as everyone was pairing off to go to the beach, pool, and shopping, so I decided to counter act this feeling with some Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, and Jersey Shore watching. Basically I was a hermit for the day. This is usually nice to do every once in a while, but in this case it was more of an act of rebellion, so in the end I was really only making the situation worse and more difficult for myself. I'm so self loathing.
Last week I wrote Mimosa (yoga teacher that sponsored me) an e-mail, updating her on the program and how I've been doing. I read her reply yesterday which was just updating me on her life, but at the end said "Keep up the strength, but don't be afraid of perceived weakness. TT is the only place you really get to experience and explore these." I was confused by this statement. How can I not be afraid of weakness? Why would I want to be weak here, and why would I want to explore weakness? If you ask me, it takes far more energy to be weak then to be strong. And I can't afford to be wasting any energy here.
As the day went on I was thinking more and more about what Mimosa had said. And being proud of myself for being able to be so strong. Everyone else seems to be falling apart at a rapid rate. Then I thought to myself, is staying in your room by yourself, not studying, and separated from human interaction really strong? No. Then I felt lonely and called Scott. That was either a mistake or a blessing. (I'm still undecided). He suggested we Skype so that we can see each other. Sounded like a good idea at the time... As soon as his face popped up on the screen I lost it. Crying uncontrollably, huge migraine headache, and runny nose. Seeing him is way harder then talking on the phone and hearing his voice, which isn't hard at all, its comforting while still being unattached. Seeing someone on streaming video is a whole other story. This is the first time I've cried since I've been here. I felt truly weak. All the sudden thoughts of I can't do this, this isn't for me, I want to go home, and I'm leaving came rushing through my head. I never thought I would think those thoughts. Scott was eventually able to cheer me up, which he does so well, and reminded me of what a mistake it would be to leave. Then for about 20 minutes we just stared at each other while I blew my nose a gazillion times and wiped my eyes. The conversation ended with Scott singing "Wonderwall" to me, the only song he knows off by heart hahaha.
After the Skype conversation I felt like I didn't want to be alone so I called Niki (friend, staff member, and yoga instructor) to see if she wanted to have a sleep over. Unfortunately, this guy that she's seeing, Bobby, was there so she couldn't hang out. She asked me how I was doing and I told her about the Skype call with Scott and how I hate the dialogue, how I don't want to study anymore, and that all I want to do it yoga, nothing else. *BOOM* Niki's iron fist. She told me that the yoga is the dialogue and to know the yoga better I need to study the dialogue because that's what the yoga is. There is no Bikram Yoga without the dialogue. She also reminded me that I rebelled against studying all through school as well that that she's heard this sob story before. This is my weakness. Make it my strength. She told me to not half-ass this if this is something that I truly care about. So many people come here without awareness and without knowing what their strengths and weaknesses are. Now that I know, what am I going to do about it. Also, I never really do anything independently. I've always lived close to my family, never lived alone, worked in team settings, and went all through school working in teams. This is my opportunity to be independent and truly discover who I am as an individual. And, there is an end to this (6 more weeks) so while I'm here, be truly present.
- That was hard to hear.
I'm really feeling the distance this week as Oktoberfest, Thanksgiving, and my cousin's wedding were all happening this weekend. I miss home and the security blanket of my family & friends so much. I know that this experience will be life changing, with no regrets- but its really hard. But in Bikrams words "no pain, no gain"
Happy Thanksgiving Weekend to all!!! I miss you all more then words can say.
XoXo Namaste
Last week I wrote Mimosa (yoga teacher that sponsored me) an e-mail, updating her on the program and how I've been doing. I read her reply yesterday which was just updating me on her life, but at the end said "Keep up the strength, but don't be afraid of perceived weakness. TT is the only place you really get to experience and explore these." I was confused by this statement. How can I not be afraid of weakness? Why would I want to be weak here, and why would I want to explore weakness? If you ask me, it takes far more energy to be weak then to be strong. And I can't afford to be wasting any energy here.
As the day went on I was thinking more and more about what Mimosa had said. And being proud of myself for being able to be so strong. Everyone else seems to be falling apart at a rapid rate. Then I thought to myself, is staying in your room by yourself, not studying, and separated from human interaction really strong? No. Then I felt lonely and called Scott. That was either a mistake or a blessing. (I'm still undecided). He suggested we Skype so that we can see each other. Sounded like a good idea at the time... As soon as his face popped up on the screen I lost it. Crying uncontrollably, huge migraine headache, and runny nose. Seeing him is way harder then talking on the phone and hearing his voice, which isn't hard at all, its comforting while still being unattached. Seeing someone on streaming video is a whole other story. This is the first time I've cried since I've been here. I felt truly weak. All the sudden thoughts of I can't do this, this isn't for me, I want to go home, and I'm leaving came rushing through my head. I never thought I would think those thoughts. Scott was eventually able to cheer me up, which he does so well, and reminded me of what a mistake it would be to leave. Then for about 20 minutes we just stared at each other while I blew my nose a gazillion times and wiped my eyes. The conversation ended with Scott singing "Wonderwall" to me, the only song he knows off by heart hahaha.
After the Skype conversation I felt like I didn't want to be alone so I called Niki (friend, staff member, and yoga instructor) to see if she wanted to have a sleep over. Unfortunately, this guy that she's seeing, Bobby, was there so she couldn't hang out. She asked me how I was doing and I told her about the Skype call with Scott and how I hate the dialogue, how I don't want to study anymore, and that all I want to do it yoga, nothing else. *BOOM* Niki's iron fist. She told me that the yoga is the dialogue and to know the yoga better I need to study the dialogue because that's what the yoga is. There is no Bikram Yoga without the dialogue. She also reminded me that I rebelled against studying all through school as well that that she's heard this sob story before. This is my weakness. Make it my strength. She told me to not half-ass this if this is something that I truly care about. So many people come here without awareness and without knowing what their strengths and weaknesses are. Now that I know, what am I going to do about it. Also, I never really do anything independently. I've always lived close to my family, never lived alone, worked in team settings, and went all through school working in teams. This is my opportunity to be independent and truly discover who I am as an individual. And, there is an end to this (6 more weeks) so while I'm here, be truly present.
- That was hard to hear.
I'm really feeling the distance this week as Oktoberfest, Thanksgiving, and my cousin's wedding were all happening this weekend. I miss home and the security blanket of my family & friends so much. I know that this experience will be life changing, with no regrets- but its really hard. But in Bikrams words "no pain, no gain"
Happy Thanksgiving Weekend to all!!! I miss you all more then words can say.
XoXo Namaste
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day 14: The darkest place in the world is under the lamp
I can't believe its already been 2 weeks... even more unbelievable is that I still have 7 more weeks to go! haha damn.
It's been another beautiful week here. Only one day of rain since I've been here. This week was really good. We had Emmy Cleaves, Bikram's principle teacher, teaching all of our morning classes and lecturing 3 out of 5 days. She's in her mid 60's and is a real lightning rod. I love her. She tells it how it is and doesn't take shit from anyone. She's also a wealth of knowledge and I attentively sat as close to the front as I could everyday to make sure I didn't miss anything. We also had some really good lectures from Bikram this week.
I finally announced my Half-moon dialogue in front of 400 people, including Bikram this week. It went pretty well I think... considering how nervous I was. Now we have Posture Clinic everyday where we are broken up into small groups and deliver dialogue in front of our peers and a few experienced teachers. Then they give us feed back which we need to improve upon for the next day when we present a new posture. Its pretty intense. I'm basically only going to have a day to study for each posture before I present. Should be interesting.
My room mate is still really struggling. She never does full classes and often leaves the room for fresh air breaks. She claims that her body is 'shutting down' and she just can't convince herself to get up and do the postures. She says "I don't know whats wrong with my body". Well, sorry hunnie... its not your body that's the problem, its your crazy monkey brain. This past week has proved the saying that age is just a number to be so very true. I feel like I'm the 30 yr old and she's the 20sum baby. I'm the reality check and fire under her ass. Words can not describe how nice it is to see her leave every weekend.
This weekend I did errands and such. I stayed out of the sun because last weekend I got a burn and Monday morning class was extremely unpleasant. Class is hard enough as it is so I decided to chill out, away from the sun, and do some laundry, grocery shopping, and Jersey Shore watching. It seems like everyone is sick right now so I've been chugging back concoctions on ginger, lemon, and honey drinks to try and prevent myself from getting sick as well.
Today I went to Whole Foods to get a few things for the week ahead. I LOVE Whole Foods. Its the most amazing store ever. Even the most sinfully delicious things are some how organic, vegan, and whole grains. I dunno how... but I guess anything can be made at those kind of prices. Its so expensive! But then again, every grocery store is here. I also walked around a little bit in an area called Hill Crest. Vintage stores galore!!! I bought the most amazing valour jumper for $10 and two tank tops for $6 each. I actually found Marc Jacobs, La Coste, and Juicy Couture there too. I tried it all on.. but of course it was all too big.
All in all, the whole experience has been really amazing. I have hardly anything to complain about which is highly unusual. I think I'm a lot stronger then I give myself credit for because I feel like I'm a statue in the middle of a million melting ice cubes. Everyone is slowly loosing their minds expect for me and Linda. Maybe because we both lost our minds a long time ago, or maybe our crazy cells are just barried so deep that they won't become exposed until weeks 8 & 9. Time will tell. All I know is I feel stronger then I ever have before, happier then I ever have before, and more poor then I could have ever imagined or foreseen.
Anyways, I have lots of calls to make tonight; Scott, my parents, and Tess... so I need to study some dialogue before I begin my yap session this evening. I hope your all enjoying your single degree weather!
XoXo
It's been another beautiful week here. Only one day of rain since I've been here. This week was really good. We had Emmy Cleaves, Bikram's principle teacher, teaching all of our morning classes and lecturing 3 out of 5 days. She's in her mid 60's and is a real lightning rod. I love her. She tells it how it is and doesn't take shit from anyone. She's also a wealth of knowledge and I attentively sat as close to the front as I could everyday to make sure I didn't miss anything. We also had some really good lectures from Bikram this week.
I finally announced my Half-moon dialogue in front of 400 people, including Bikram this week. It went pretty well I think... considering how nervous I was. Now we have Posture Clinic everyday where we are broken up into small groups and deliver dialogue in front of our peers and a few experienced teachers. Then they give us feed back which we need to improve upon for the next day when we present a new posture. Its pretty intense. I'm basically only going to have a day to study for each posture before I present. Should be interesting.
My room mate is still really struggling. She never does full classes and often leaves the room for fresh air breaks. She claims that her body is 'shutting down' and she just can't convince herself to get up and do the postures. She says "I don't know whats wrong with my body". Well, sorry hunnie... its not your body that's the problem, its your crazy monkey brain. This past week has proved the saying that age is just a number to be so very true. I feel like I'm the 30 yr old and she's the 20sum baby. I'm the reality check and fire under her ass. Words can not describe how nice it is to see her leave every weekend.
This weekend I did errands and such. I stayed out of the sun because last weekend I got a burn and Monday morning class was extremely unpleasant. Class is hard enough as it is so I decided to chill out, away from the sun, and do some laundry, grocery shopping, and Jersey Shore watching. It seems like everyone is sick right now so I've been chugging back concoctions on ginger, lemon, and honey drinks to try and prevent myself from getting sick as well.
Today I went to Whole Foods to get a few things for the week ahead. I LOVE Whole Foods. Its the most amazing store ever. Even the most sinfully delicious things are some how organic, vegan, and whole grains. I dunno how... but I guess anything can be made at those kind of prices. Its so expensive! But then again, every grocery store is here. I also walked around a little bit in an area called Hill Crest. Vintage stores galore!!! I bought the most amazing valour jumper for $10 and two tank tops for $6 each. I actually found Marc Jacobs, La Coste, and Juicy Couture there too. I tried it all on.. but of course it was all too big.
All in all, the whole experience has been really amazing. I have hardly anything to complain about which is highly unusual. I think I'm a lot stronger then I give myself credit for because I feel like I'm a statue in the middle of a million melting ice cubes. Everyone is slowly loosing their minds expect for me and Linda. Maybe because we both lost our minds a long time ago, or maybe our crazy cells are just barried so deep that they won't become exposed until weeks 8 & 9. Time will tell. All I know is I feel stronger then I ever have before, happier then I ever have before, and more poor then I could have ever imagined or foreseen.
Anyways, I have lots of calls to make tonight; Scott, my parents, and Tess... so I need to study some dialogue before I begin my yap session this evening. I hope your all enjoying your single degree weather!
XoXo
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